Femi

Femi
Femi

Friday, September 2, 2011

Conflicts in Relationships : Tips to make a difference



L'amour : The french word for Love. Perharps you feel it and you're with someone you really care about. Someone who when you are together, your heart beats faster and you feel untold joy. That's really a good thing and it's wonderful to be in love but often, usually sooner than expected the differences of our personalities come into play and the love that seems so golden, so real and so true, becomes strained and hampered. Without the proper communication methods the relationship may not survive. So, the million dollar question is, how do you deal with conflicts in a relationship. Here are some simple practical steps to make a difference and to help in conflict resolution in today's relationship.




Listen to her

Did you ever know notice that God us two ears and one mouth? I guess it's because we are supposed to listen more than we speak. Actually, listening without interupting is a key ingredient in resolving differences in relationships. Usually, when there is a quarel, your partner is actually "saying" something. Only with effective listening can you tell what the challenge really is and then you are well on your way to solving the problem. Good listening also helps for you to be able to bridge the gap between the two of you, understand where the disconnect lies, etc. Unfortunately, active listening is a skill that not everybody knows, and it’s common for people to think they’re listening, while in their heads they’re actually formulating their next response, thinking to themselves how wrong the other person is, or doing things other than trying to understand the other person’s perspective. Wether she's talking about money, time or you listening to her and helping out. Effective Listening can make a difference in the relationship.






Don't trample on his Ego


Ok. Ladies you probably always heard this and believe me its true. All men have Egos. There I said it. Now you know that, Lets cut the chase. Never, ever trample on his Ego. It is potentially an unforgivable sin. But if per chance you have, then just tell him you are sorry and mean. it. Don't complain, don't explain just apologise. Ladies tend to use words as weapons in an argument and ussually, the win. In an argument, we tend to say all the things we don't mean. If you have done that, remember, just apologise.








Practice Assertive Communication

Communicating your feelings and needs clearly is also an important aspect of conflict resolution. As you probably know, saying the wrong thing can be like throwing fuel on a fire, and make a conflict worse. The important thing to remember is to say what’s on your mind in a way that is clear and assertive, without being aggressive or putting the other person on the defensive. Being assertive can make a difference in resolving conflicts. Assertion is not being rude or agressive but merely staing your points firmly and clearly. One effective conflict resolution strategy is to put things in terms of how you feel rather than what you think the other person is doing wrong, using ‘I feel’ statements. Being firm and fair with each other helps to build confidence, trust and comfort together, with friends or in a crowd.



To be Continued......