‘Change Of Mindset Essential To Fast-Track Nigeria’s Development’

‘Change Of Mindset Essential To Fast-Track Nigeria’s Development’

This is a post in the Saturday Guardian. Check it out

The Retinue of Sycophants

Today, I Listened to a young, Intelligent and passionate Nigerian tell of her desire to leave Nigeria and live abroad. Why? I asked. She said “ the only people who seem to get ahead in today’s Nigeria are the crooks, the politicians, our rulers and their retinue of sycophants.” So I did what I do best, preach of the values of passionate steadfastness to the Nigeria of our future and what our country can be. For all I said, the words tasted like ash, its substance hollow, its values diminished. It felt like ruse. It felt like a BIG LIE.  The French Artist Georges Braque aptly describes it,” Truth exists, only lies are invented”

So, as I bury myself in thought at the constant assaults on the senses and esteem of the common man; from the removal of Petroleum subsidy, to the lack of constant power supply; from security challenges to lack of citizenry safety; From domestic inertia to misperception in foreign policy, I ask the same question, who advises our leaders. Policies we all see are counterproductive and only serve vested interest are peddled in the media as bitter medicines that can pain and the heal when in fact they are lethal doses administered periodically to bring us to submission, servitude and suicide. I ask again, who advises our leaders? My answer? The retinue of Sycophants.

They are everywhere, crouching, bending, and bowing and some even kneeling. In the corridors of power, boasting of abilities to turn an honorable man into an object of ridicule and hatred in the eyes of the masses. Master painters of distorted realities; feeding the stories of effective government policies. When in fact these policies are failing and failing woefully. I remember a former minister of Power who promised 6,000 Mega watts of electricity before the end of a certain year. Two days to the end of that year, who bashfully told reporters that they could still attain the target when power supply was less than 40%. Or a senior customs officer who while consoling the family members of a young man brutally murdered by a Custom’s officer said “God gives and God takes”. Or perhaps, Special Assistants, Commissioners and even ministers who promise to repair roads, provide facilities or even conjure figures of progress when the reality seems millennia’s away. They are; the retinue of Sycophants.

I only hope those leaders who truly care for the people will see these sycophants and lead them where there truly belong; the waste bin of history. After all, no one who remembers the prevaricators, the embellishers of truth or the sycophants. Only those upon who the mantle of responsibility and leadership of our nation is placed upon would be said to have failed or succeeded. As Edmund Burke puts, “A disposition to preserve, an ability to improve, would be my standard of a statesman. Everything else would be vulgar in conception, perilous in the execution.”  we may then see the end of; The retinue of Sycophants

Absent not Lost

Its been so long. I truly have missed sharing my opinion on this blog. Thankfully, We are back. Its going to scathing, insightful refreshing and a bull's eye analysis and opinions of current events.

Join me

Conflicts in Relationships : Tips to make a difference

L'amour : The french word for Love. Perharps you feel it and you're with someone you really care about. Someone who when you are together, your heart beats faster and you feel untold joy. That's really a good thing and it's wonderful to be in love but often, usually sooner than expected the differences of our personalities come into play and the love that seems so golden, so real and so true, becomes strained and hampered. Without the proper communication methods the relationship may not survive. So, the million dollar question is, how do you deal with conflicts in a relationship. Here are some simple practical steps to make a difference and to help in conflict resolution in today's relationship.

Listen to her

Did you ever know notice that God us two ears and one mouth? I guess it's because we are supposed to listen more than we speak. Actually, listening without interupting is a key ingredient in resolving differences in relationships. Usually, when there is a quarel, your partner is actually "saying" something. Only with effective listening can you tell what the challenge really is and then you are well on your way to solving the problem. Good listening also helps for you to be able to bridge the gap between the two of you, understand where the disconnect lies, etc. Unfortunately, active listening is a skill that not everybody knows, and it’s common for people to think they’re listening, while in their heads they’re actually formulating their next response, thinking to themselves how wrong the other person is, or doing things other than trying to understand the other person’s perspective. Wether she's talking about money, time or you listening to her and helping out. Effective Listening can make a difference in the relationship.

Don't trample on his Ego


Ok. Ladies you probably always heard this and believe me its true. All men have Egos. There I said it. Now you know that, Lets cut the chase. Never, ever trample on his Ego. It is potentially an unforgivable sin. But if per chance you have, then just tell him you are sorry and mean. it. Don't complain, don't explain just apologise. Ladies tend to use words as weapons in an argument and ussually, the win. In an argument, we tend to say all the things we don't mean. If you have done that, remember, just apologise.

Practice Assertive Communication

Communicating your feelings and needs clearly is also an important aspect of conflict resolution. As you probably know, saying the wrong thing can be like throwing fuel on a fire, and make a conflict worse. The important thing to remember is to say what’s on your mind in a way that is clear and assertive, without being aggressive or putting the other person on the defensive. Being assertive can make a difference in resolving conflicts. Assertion is not being rude or agressive but merely staing your points firmly and clearly. One effective conflict resolution strategy is to put things in terms of how you feel rather than what you think the other person is doing wrong, using ‘I feel’ statements. Being firm and fair with each other helps to build confidence, trust and comfort together, with friends or in a crowd.

To be Continued......

Gadaffi, Libya and Nigeria

After 42-years in power, the reign of Muammar  Qaddafi comes to a close. After months of fighting, death and atrocities committed, the war for the soul of Libya seems to  the coming to an end. The end in favour of the National Transition Council (NTC) with the backing of NATO led by US, Britain and France.

Tonight, Thousands of Libyans rejoice on the streets of Tripoli, Benghazi, Zawir and all over Libya for the end of the regime of a Dictator. The question for me is How did it get to this? What does this portend for Africa? No one can doubt that Gadaffi had it  coming for him. Many world leaders view him with deep suspicion while others praise him as a mentor and benefactor. The role of the African Union in the Libyan conflict leaves more questions than answers. African leaders torn between memories of the past help including funding economies and fighting apartheid in South Africa. The AU has not come with a clear position on the issue. According to David Mutsanga, a member of the AU delegation to Libya, Dialogue would have averted the stalemate, the bloodshed and the loss of lives. I do wonder if he speaks from the point of view that benefit Africa or the memories of the many "Greek gifts" Gadaffi has given to many African countries in the past. 

Libya has a 99-year lease to exploit the natural resources of Central African republic after coming to the aid of its President militarily in 2001. Gadaffi has managed to stir up conflict with his rather caustic opinions like suggesting the division of Nigeria on religious lines, mentioned in the accusation against Charles Taylor, the former Liberian leader on trail in the Hague, and many other "mischievous " declaration. Now that the rebels have almost won Tripoli, men who Originally were considered terrorist groups have metamorphosis-ed into rebels who now hold the soul of Libya in their hands. But What does this Portend for Nigeria and it's perceived leadership role on the African Continent?

Nigeria has recognised the NTC. In doing so, it has toed the line of western nations and the birth of a new Libya. The fear of Islamic jihadist hijacking Libya echoes loudly all over the world. The African countries on the UN security council have been accused of not coming to the aid of Libya and allowing the arming of rebels, the bombing of cities and ease the victory of the rebels. With the war won, The idealism replaced with the reality of rebuilding the destroyed infrastructure, The resources of Libya in the hands of western backed governments would be an interesting thing to watch. As August Bebel the German Politician put it " In the time of war, the loudest patriots are the greatest profiteers".

As the world waits for the response of the African Union, Nigeria, has a responsibility to take a forward and decisive action on issues that affect the continent. The greatest fear for pundits is, Whose turn is next? When will it be decided the a government is no longer legitimate, its opposition armed and a regime change encouraged? Nigeria's open participation on the AU and UN councils will leave the world in no doubt of our commitment to democracy in Africa and the benefit of its peoples.Nigeria should take a cue from France whose growing influence on the African continent as seen in the forced removal of Laurent Gbagbo and its extensive involvement in the Libyan civil war clearly shows that its foreign policy drive is one of prominence, position and prestige. The spheres of Influence on the African continent continues to weaken. Egypt after its uprising is rebuilding. Nigeria has it in its future interest to re-establish its self in the North of Africa and advance the course of Africans.

Confidence: What most people wont tell you.

"I'd rather die than face a crowd". " I wish the earth would open up and swallow me". Any of these sentences sound familiar? I'm sure it does that's because I probably have said it to myself more times than I can count - and so have you.

Confidence - or the lack of it can make the difference in who is considered a winner or a loser; A go getter or a charlatan; A master or a slave. Confidence can single handedly turn around difficult relationships, obscure positions and even seemingly impossible situations and make our lives worth living. So you often wonder why that guys to always get all he wants or why everyone admires that charming girl. The answer is simple; Its confidence . Confidence laced with the right attitude can be the tonic you need to give your relationships, your career and possibly your life that zest to get up and conquer.

Twelve tips to build your confidence

1. Look into the Eyes : The eyes are the window to the soul. Meet the gaze steadily with courage but try not to stare, that could be scary
2. Stand and sit straight: Sitting or standing straight reflects confidence you seem to say with your stance " I am confident". Now you know why gentlemen and ladies walk straight - Straight and Tall.
3. Smile: Ever seen anyone frown at a smiling baby? I haven't. Well, that's what a smile generates. It seems to say "you can trust me". That's for those with a genuine smile none of those plastic or cosmetic smiles. Remember, smile not just with your lips and teeth, but also with your eyes. You, like that baby can light up the world with your smile.
4. Speak: Try to make a good conversation with anyone. Sounds silly? Definitely not. When you talk to people even strangers, you build your confidence around people.
5. First Impression: We don't always get a second chance to make a good first impression so remember to make the first impression a positive and refreshing one. Make it count.
6. Use of Words: Make use of the right choice of words. Words that foster friendship not enmity. Remember three things cannot be taken back. A spent arrow, A broken promise and a spoken word.
7. Listen: Be a good listener after all you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Need I say more?
8. Keep in touch: Remember your friends. Call them, Text them, visit them. Whatever you do, keep in touch.
9. Be Proactive: Whatever happens, create your world and empower your self, Change the situation.
10. Enjoy your social life: Have fun. Healthy Fun. Have a social life. This is improves your confidence.
11. Face your fear: What ever you fear believe that it has a solution. When you face the fear, you find the solution and the fear is history.
12. Be open minded: In our world, we will meet different people. People with opinions and idea different from all that we know and believe. An open mind enables us to live in harmony with others and develop the confidence we need to share our own belief calmly, with courage and with understanding.

Followings this tips can help you become a more confident person but that should be hinged on a value system that is based on love, compassion and integrity.

Receive the confidence. NOW!

Motivational May

Finally, the blog series for the month of May begins. We call this "Motivational May". For me, With elections, uprisings in the Arab world, Analytical April provided us with a reflective look at what goes on around us. With Novel experiences forcing us to begin again to take a look, we realise ever so clear that the world around us has changed and continues to change. In the thousand of years since the evolution of man, we are experiencing a new consciousness, the rising of the knowledge of our power, our freedom and our rights. And so, we begin to face a set of challenges in our society. Individually, we continue to ask ourselves the question; How do we evolve?

The series in "Motivational May" consciously approaches the renewing of the mind giving practical approaches to everyday challenges with solutions for our time and in the difficulty of our days. And so with expectations and anticipation colliding without the catalyst of the renewing of the mind, without realizing that as we think so we are and without being willing to give our mirth to society, then our limitations will confuse, confine and confound us.

For as William  Blake put it, "....To see our world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower to hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in one hour". This aptly captures the essence of our individuality and our desire to change for the better.

Femi Adelayo

PS: Everyday together, we shall explore varying topics that challenge our thoughts and propel us to greater things. Be the first to Share this wonderful experiences. Join the Mailing List Now!

Elections, Revolts and Uprising

It is no longer news that Nigeria has a president elect. Dr Goodluck Jonathan the University lecturer was voted back into power in an election that the international community considers one of the freest in Nigeria's history. With millions of Nigerians voting back the man and the electoral body, The Independent National electoral commission conducting what was considered a relatively free and fair elections, The joys Nigerians felt was however short lived as a result of the violence experienced in some Northern states. Lives have been lost needlessly and old, painful and bitter memories of the senseless killings in  the North brought back to the fore. The man for whom they claimed to be uphold the right kept silent and for two days the violence went seemingly unchecked.

Riots in Northern Nigeria

Now that calm has returned to the north, we ask what was the reason for this? Why did the authorities knowing that such could occur not take preemptive action? Why did our leaders keep silent in the face of attacks on Christians, Corpers and innocent people. There are more questions than answers but one thing is certain, we should not allow political leader get away with inciting comments. All the inciting during the campaigns lead to the violence we see.

Those who made these statements, supported violence secretly or openly should be held accountable for their actions.

Libya, The rebels and the UN

The 42 year reign of Gadaffi seem no closer to end than when the uprising which spilled over from Egypt engulfed the country. A lot of terms have been thrown around. Demonstrators, Opposition and rebels. Now, we only hear of rebels. Unorganized fighting, gaining and losing ground to the Pro-Gadaffi forces. Even with a no fly zone enforced, bombing of Gadaffi's Air power and heavy weapons we are no closer. Now Military advisers are on ground from some countries to assist the rebels. The Question is What next?
I am quite certain that the Arab world is watching.

Anti-Gaddaffi rebels

Waiting for the New President

As we wait for the new Nigerian president, like the millions of Nigerians at home and all over the world there is a new sense of relief, positive anticipation and hope that things are about to change. Change we believe that can only be for the best. Having observed with keen interest like most of my compatriots, the sense of eagerness that fills me, the words to express it seems rarer to find. Perhaps elation might be suitable.

Now we are at the collation stage but still I wonder at the campaign of distaste that still goes around, seeming from an opposition that suspects foul play even when the sun shines too brightly or when the rain falls, It must be an attempt to rig. When does all this end? Maybe when the results are announced. The pitches I have read on online forum and blogs seem to point at a deep sense of resentment and a lack of desire for faith.

Voting in Process in Nigerian General Elections

I can say with all sincererity that we do not need this, we cannot have it, we must not allow it. Our country needs to build on our new found faith in our ability to move the world's largest black race to its place of prominence and of pride. Positioning the nation for agitation may certainly not be in our best interest. Our preparedness to build our nation again, not resting on our oars while we blame others for the things that we ourselves are guilty make the word hypocrisy grossly inadequate. For as Mohandas Gandhi once said " He who loses his individuality, loses all". We must be prepared to come together to build on the positive gains we see in this new era. Only we can. If we do not, we then give others the right to tell our story. The same story told of Africa. despondence, desolation and despair. 

Presidential Elections in Nigeria

Since the return to democratic rule in May 1999, Nigeria has been embroiled in the controversies and in the different challenges of our democratic experience. Now after 12 years of rule by the ruling party the PDP, Nigerians more than ever before seem concious of their needs and their desires. A failed power sector, Brain drain, Decay in the education sector and the mother of all challenges; Corruption has held back the nation for the likely growth it can make.

Finally, the presidential elections are here again. It i without doubt that all the major contestants are noble men. Men who without doubt profess their love for Nigeria and and absolute desire to see the country truly reach its potential. Mudslinging, accusations and counter accusations seem to be the issues of the day causing the country to be heavily polarized.

Whatever the outcome, as long as the elections are free, fair and credible Nigeria can be better. Nigerians must build institutions that stand the test of time so that the issues can be not about individuals only as presidential contestants, about a willingness to develop every facet of national life, strengthen our viable institutions and improve the life of Nigeria.